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 .كل ما في الأمر إنني إنسان غير مندمج كثيرا -
تصب القهوة. زنداها عاريان. زغب أصفر ينام هناك على مسيل الزند المعصفر. كانت ترتدي «الغندورة» الشعبية الملونة - 
 ولكن ما معنى غير مندمج؟ -   
 لا اجتماعي. أشعر بالقصور عن الاندماج مع الآخرين - 
 هل سألت نفسك لماذا؟ - 
 .بلى. دائما أسأل - 
 وهل حاولت الاندماج؟ - 
. حياتي كلها محاولات - 
 والنتيجة؟ - 
 .الإحباط - 
 ومن الممتنع؟ - 
لست أدري. أحيانا أفكر أنني ربما كنت أحمل أفكارا ضارة. أفكار متطرفة، قاسية، صعبة التحقيق. إنهم يقولون: عليك أن  تكون واقعيا. لماذا لا تجري مع التيار؟ وأسأل نفسي إن كنت حقا أسبح ضد التيار؟ ولكن إذا اندفعت مع التيار إلى أين سأصل؟ فيقولون: إذا بقيت هكذا عليك أن تقبل العزلة. أحد ما ليس معك. لكي تحيا مع الآخرين عليك أن تتنازل. أمي كانت تقول: يا بني الأرض الواطئة تشرب ماءها وماء غيرها من الأراضي العالية. وكنت أرد عليها وأنا صغير: ولكنني أكره الأراضي الواطئة لأن الناس جميعا يطؤونها يا أمي وأنا لا أريد أن أشرب إلا مائي. وتقول أمي يائسة: ستموت وحيدا ولن تجد من يكفِّنك ويمشي وراء جنازتك. أريد أن أموت عاريا تحت الشمس في غابة أو صحراء، تأكل جثتي الصقور ووحوش البر. هذا أفضل وأهدأ لنفسي من صلوات الدجالين وقبور المسلمين المظلمة.
  
حيدر حيدر، وليمة لأعشاب البحر، ص 77  

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