Jens Jörgensen , 15 August 2025 The Telegraph Multiverse Bureau Seeks Interdimensional Journalist Location: This version of London, but your desk will exist simultaneously in at least three other Londons (one made entirely of scones). Salary: Competitive… in several timelines, one of which still uses seashells. Hours: When news happens, when it hasn’t happened yet, and when it never happens at all. ⸻ About Us: The Telegraph Multiverse Bureau is the UK’s premier* source of news from realities that you have never heard of and cannot prove exist. We deliver breaking stories from Universe 14-B (“The One Where Cats Run the Railways”), Universe 73-Q (“Everyone Has the Head of a Cabbage”), and occasionally Universe Prime (this one, reluctantly). *Premier in at least two realities. In this one we’re… respectable-ish. ⸻ The Role: We are looking for someone who can… • File urgent front-page stories such as “King Charles Declares War on The Moon” and “England Wins Eurovision for 87th Year in...
“The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion (to which few members of other civilizations were converted) but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.” —Samuel P. Huntington, The Clash of Civilisation and the Remaking of the World Order, 1996, p. 51