NM's blog

Jens Jörgensen , 15 August 2025 The Telegraph Multiverse Bureau Seeks Interdimensional Journalist  Location: This version of London, but your desk will exist simultaneously in at least three other Londons (one made entirely of scones). Salary: Competitive… in several timelines, one of which still uses seashells. Hours: When news happens, when it hasn’t happened yet, and when it never happens at all. ⸻ About Us: The Telegraph Multiverse Bureau is the UK’s premier* source of news from realities that you have never heard of and cannot prove exist. We deliver breaking stories from Universe 14-B (“The One Where Cats Run the Railways”), Universe 73-Q (“Everyone Has the Head of a Cabbage”), and occasionally Universe Prime (this one, reluctantly). *Premier in at least two realities. In this one we’re… respectable-ish. ⸻ The Role: We are looking for someone who can… • File urgent front-page stories such as “King Charles Declares War on The Moon” and “England Wins Eurovision for 87th Year in...

A staunch supporter of Israel. Back in 2015, Richard Seymour wrote: “From the Guardian to the Express, from the New Statesman’s craven toeing of the Blairite line to the lies in supposedly neutral dailies like the Metro, from the Sun’s made-up “exclusives” to the queue of Labour MPs and liberal pundits lining up to spew bile for the Daily Mail, from Tory attack ads to the Telegraph screaming for Corbyn’s head, the media and the political class have near-total unanimity in their ferocious anti-socialism. I know we call them “the bourgeois media,” but not even the most crass, petty-minded Stalinist apparatchik could have produced a caricature as venomous and despicable as our lot. You can’t understand the reasons for this in simple commercial terms. It isn’t about securing advertising accounts or selling copy. Nor is it simply about the short-term interests of their proprietors. It is primarily about their integration into the party-political machinery. It is about their dependence on, a...

A sample: the Metro, which is owned by the same people who own the Daily Mail. Some people injured are called “a rain of terror”.